Dancing Elephants

"It's 4:15pm... and I just noticed that my shirt is on backward..."

Melissa, the delightful girl I share a polyester cubicle wall with at work, pretty much summed up the last week to a tee with that realization. A few other words come to mind to describe it, but in the interest of brevity and keeping PTTP PG-friendly, I'll just go with hers. And maybe just one more: Riiiiiidiculous.

It was a week of long, long hours. We've all been there (or at least, that's what my New York friends and I keep telling ourselves... that the crazy, mixed up demands of working in this city are somehow... "normal"...ha. But gotta love it though, right?). Nights that somehow turn into the next morning. All but one or two lunches/dinners at the non-comfort of your desk. Fire drill after fire drill. Getting ready in the morning, thanking your lucky stars it's finally Friday because you woke up to a killer cold... and then realizing that no. It's... Tuesday. Sigh.

That's not to say that this week wasn't without it's silver linings, because trust me... it was. And more on those to come, sooner or later I'm sure... :) However, the point of this post is to make just one point: I. am. tired.

And all I wanted out of tonight was a glass of pinot noir, a good movie, and sleep. Blissful, pre-midnight sleep. So here I am in bed, ready to turn out the light after sneaking in a few chapters of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince when... they start: the Elephants. They apparently occupy the apartment above mine and they've decided to make themselves known again tonight. And these aren't just any Elephants, mind you. They are DANCING Elephants. Well at least, they better be putting on a stinking Riverdance up there for how much ruckus they're causing!

Ok, I get it. My complaining about "ruckus" before 1:00 am on a Friday night in the City that never sleeps probably (read: definitely) earns me all sorts of Lame Points. But every now and then you just need a night in, ya know? A quiet night to yourself to unwind from the week. A night without any craziness or small-talk at the bar or... Elephants.

So, dear Elephants of Apt 5C, if you happen to read this tonight, would you ever so kindly hold off on your dance rehearsal for the rest of the night? Just this once? And tomorrow, by all means - go to town. Heck, I'll even buy you all pretty new tutus for your next recital! Thanks for understanding. xoxo

Breakfast of Champions

I literally just had to have the following pep talk with myself on my walk to work this morning. Welcome to the inside of my early morning, uncaffeinated mind (Consider yourself warned.)... 

"I will NOT eat the chocolate covered Oreos or Swedish Fish that are at my desk for breakfast. I will NOT eat chocolate covered Oreos or Swedish Fish for breakfast. I will NOT eat chocolate covered Oreos or Swedish Fish for breakfast. I will NOT eat chocolate covered Oreos or Swedish Fish for breakfast. I will NOT..."

I mean, seriously?! Does that even sound appealing to a normal person at 8:30 in the morning?? What am I? Five years old?? 

Sigh. Whatever... I still think I should get points for the fact that I've resisted these delicious treats that one of my reps brought yesterday so far. Ha, emphasis on the so far... Because seriously, y'all! They're sitting here. Staring at me. Taunting me... I think it's a losing battle, this one...

Lesson(s) Learned

In recent days, I've had the great fortune of learning the following tidbits:

1. If it's 20 minutes past when a Sunday matinee is supposed to begin, you're the only person in the theater, AND they're still showing the pre-show with no official previews in sight... maybe you should double check that you're in the correct theater... instead of, say, asking a boy who works there. And then he immediately Walkies to management that there's an emergency movie malfunction. And then you run away.

2. Target.com is a dangerous, dangerous site, especially for a girl who hasn't set foot inside one of their stores since December. But what deals! Sigh.

3. Cinco de Mayo is in fact celebrated in states other than Texas. However, the lack of emphasis placed on margaritas and queso can be something of a letdown.

4. When your CHI has had time to heat up to approximately 400 degrees F and you trip on the cord while your hands are preoccupied with your mascara, perhaps it would be best to let said CHI fall to the ground and break instead of, I don't know, attempting to catch it with your forearm. Don't believe me? I have a nice 3" scar forming that proves my point...

5. I don't think I'll ever get sick of the rain; it always ends up reminding me of Seattle... The humidity, however, my bangs could do without.

A Rant of Sorts

Dear Management,

Let me start off by saying that I have visited your dining establishment on multiple occasions and I have always been quite content with the service, drinks and food. It has proven to be a great place to spend a low-key evening just catching up with friends. That is why it pains me somewhat to write this letter, but I feel it's necessary as I haven't been able to shake a feeling of unrest since I was there this past Sunday evening.

After my friends and I learned that the Sliders were sadly not featured on the night's Specials, we all settled for other options. My roommate and I weren't feeling particularly adventurous that evening, so we opted for nachos. Because, as we pointed out to a skeptical friend, "How can you screw up nachos?? Chips and melted cheesy goodness and whatever condiments are around. Done and done."

Well, you know what they say about assuming...

20 minutes later, the waiter brought us our order... Chips? Check! Guac and sour cream? Check and check! Chili-ish something-or-other? Slightly sketchy, but a Check! for the beef component, nonetheless. Heck, there was even fresh Pico as opposed to canned Pace (ewww.)... All in all, impressive. There was just one small, little, terribly insignificant thing missing...

The cheese.

Now I'm not one for causing a fuss at restaurants. You could hand me a banana cream pie when I ordered chocolate cake and I'd probably be as happy as a clam. But seriously?? Nachos... without... CHEESE?! At first I thought it was a mistake - a cruel joke, perhaps. So when the waiter informed me that, no, in fact the nachos have never been served with cheese, I kind of just stared in jaw-dropped bewilderment. He did, however, offer to bring us a side of cheese, which I politely declined. I'm curious though - would it have been a mini bowl of cold, shredded cheddar? A few slices of American, perhaps? Maybe some feta to sprinkle on top?

All kidding aside, it did occur to me that maybe my shock was due in part to the fact that I was spoiled with Tex-Mex for four solid years... Maybe, just maybe, the whole world doesn't consider cheese a necessary ingredient when making nachos. So, after an extensive bit of Googling, I present you with the following research:

• Nachos NY is a blog described by the creator as, "a nacho quest, for the best." It includes anything and everything concerning nachos in NYC - even a Google Map that plots out past reviews! Genius, I say! You will please note that while there are many differences from plate to deliciously greasy plate, one thing is common... you guessed it: cheese. (Also, be sure to check out recent Guest Blogger Julia's take on Texas Nachos! Warning: Will cause stomach to grumble.)


• Oh Wikipedia! The be all, end all of frivolous research... How I love thee. I think you will find the "Nachos" entry to be very informative, particularly the second sentence (emphasis mine): "In their simplest form, nachos are usually tortilla chips or totopos covered in melted cheese." I mean, who are we to question the omniscient Wiki??

I do hope you've found this letter to be both enlightening and persuasive in my attempt to build a case for why you should seriously consider adding this most delicious bit of dairy to your restaurant's Nachos. Call me a traditionalist, but I just think that making such a drastic change to a tasty treat that has stood the test of time (since 1943! Thanks Ignacio "Nacho" Anaya!) is just. plain. wrong.

Regards, xoxo, etc. and so on,

Bethany